Give Them All to Jesus

This video is of a song that I just recently found, but one that has quickly become one of my favorites. Please, watch it, and think about the words.

Disapointment and Shattered Ideals

In my teenage years, I have to admit, I wasn't exactly the "perfect" Christian. I was rebellious, not outwardly, but inwardly, had really no desire to serve God, and idealized the wrong people. However, that all changed when a certain couple joined the church that I was attending at the time. Their names were J. and H. Higgins, and they soon became the youth leaders at my church. They became close friends of mine, and had so much influence in my life, more than they'll ever know. I spent numerous Sunday afternoons with them, as well as time before, during, and after youth activities.

J and H encouraged me to live for God, to get rid of the rebellion and bitterness in my heart, and to become a leader, rather than a follower. They were also a huge part of my surrendering to go into the ministry. They were the ones who put a burden in my heart to work with you. They planted those seeds of the love for youth into my life when I was still a youth myself.

H was the ideal wife. She was someone that I looked to for a model of how I wanted to be when I get married. She was submissive, loving, nuturing, and so much more. I looked up to her so much, and she was someone that I strived to model my own life after.

J was the ideal youth leader. He had so much energy and excitement about working with youth. You could see the burden that he had for youth. He was young, had a beautiful wife who loved youth just as much as he did, and seemed to have it all together.

I found out just this past week that this "ideal" couple is no longer together. J left his wife, and his young daughter, for another woman. When I heard the news, I was devestated and in shock. I couldn't believe that it had happened, not to them. They had seemed like the perfect couple, and I never, ever would have imagined that J would leave his wife for another woman. This was something that you heard about that happened to other people; people who aren't saved; people who didn't have the "ideal" life like J and H had.

I can only imagine what H is going through, suddenly finding herself as a single mom, having pretty much everything she'd known for more than five years destroyed. When I think about it, I am still shocked at what J did, and still can't believe that it happened.

This has made me realize even more how very important it is to really pray hard about who God would have you to marry, and to not rush into anything, and also, how important it is to make sure that you really know someone before you marry them

Turning Back Time

Technically, I should be preparing for Sunday school, working on the Christmas program, and working on my devotional and lesson for my teen girls class, but I decided to take a break from all of that to do this post. I got the idea from it from a blog that I read, Heart and Home. She did a post that I am basing this off of because I liked it so much.

One week ago...

I'd be waiting to talk to a friend on Facebook, only to be disappointed when he wasn't very talkative, which would make me worry that something had changed. I would cry, and then go to bed hoping this would be different in the morning.

One year ago...

I would be down at college, just having moved into my dorm room, excited about the year to come, but also nervous. I would have just spent the previous night at my college family's house, having a blast watching movies and playing games with my "mom," "little sisters," and "big brother." I would be meeting my new roommate, and having fun sharing memories with my old roommate. I would still be very much in love with a guy who did not  like me, and who had no idea that I felt that way about him. I would have no idea that in just a couple weeks, I would be forced to face reality, and would have my heart broken because I carelessly gave it away.

Five years ago...

I would be a young girl of fifteen, not having a care in the world. I would be getting ready to start tenth grade, thinking that I was going to graduate from high school and go to Pensacola to major in Nursing, having no idea that in just a year, my  plans would drastically have changed and I would be instead looking forward to going to Ambassador to major in Church Secretarial Studies and preparing to go into the ministry.

Ten years ago...

I would be just a child, only ten years old, thinking life was grand. I would be getting ready to go fishing with my dad the next day, ever the tomboy. I would think boys were  disgusting. I would be getting ready to start my last year at the Christian school I attended,  going into fifth grade. I would have no idea that the next year I would be home schooled, and  would instead be looking forward to getting involved in sports. I would have no idea that in just over a year, life would change dramatically all over the country due to the World Trade Center, as well as the Pentagon, being attacked by terrorists. I would have no idea that in just over a year, America would be at war, a foreign concept to me because of the peace we'd had since soon after I was born.

Fifteen Years ago...

I would be very much a daddy's little girl. I would be the little girl with a sucker in her mouth and a fishing pole with a fish on the end in her hand, like I was in the picture that is a favorite of my dad's. I would still fall asleep at nights sitting on my dad's lap, watching Little House on the Prairie. I would be excited about getting ready to  start kindergarten in just a few weeks.

What I didn't know 

back all those years ago

is that life is difficult, 

sometimes filled with pain, 

with sadness, 

with loss, 

with joy, 

with love, 

and with change.

Do I wish I could go back?

Sometimes. Some days I long to be that little

girl once again, so proud of the fish she'd caught,

with not a care in the world.

But I think that if I truly had the chance to go back,

I wouldn't. "I could have missed the pain, 

but I'd have had to miss the dance."

(from The Dance, by Garth Brooks)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Ok, so maybe not, but i have been thinking about Christmas a lot recently. I can hardly believe that it's only about 4 months away!! Time has flown by recently. Before too much longer Christmas will be here...which poses a bit of a problem. You see, I'm in charge of my church's Christmas program at church. And I don't have a program picked out yet.

Right now I'm leaning towards writing my own program. Our church has some rather unique requirements for a Christmas program, which makes it very hard to find a Christmas program. If I were able to find one that I liked, I know that I'd probably have to do some serious rewriting to make it work for us, so it seems like it's going to be just as easy (or should I say just as hard!) to write me own. I'm kind of nervous about it, as I tend to be a bit of perfectionist as far as these things go.

I will keep you updated on my progress on the program! So far, there has been no progress, but I think that I'm just thinking too hard about it. I love writing, but I have absolutely no ideas right now!! Hopefully once I stop stressing so much about it, my creativity juices will start flowing!

I asked God for strength, that I may achieve,

I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey…

I asked for health, that I might do greater things,

I was given infirmary, that I might do happier things…

I asked for riches, that I might be happy,

I was given poverty, that I might be wise…

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,

I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God…

I asked for all things that I may enjoy life,

I was given life, that I may enjoy all things…

I got nothing that I asked for- but everything I had hoped for;

Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am among the most richly blessed.

- An Unknown Confederate Solider

I found this on one of the blogs that I subscribe to (my sister's blog), and I really liked it, so I figued I would repost it on here. It is so very encouraging, and also very true! It was a reminder to me that while it may seem to us that our prayers aren't being answered, they are, just not necessarily in the way we want them answered. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! 

June/July Update

I'm so sorry that it has been so long since I've updated!!! I've been kept very busy recently. I can't remember if I mentioned it at all on here, but I have been taking a Nurse's Assistant class for the past three weeks, and it's kept me crazy busy!!! They are finally over now, so hopefully I'll have a bit more time to update!

Disclaimer: I am updating this while I am sick, so if the thoughts seem more random or scatterbrained than usual, that's why!! :)

June was a pretty boring month here...not much went on, which was kind of nice as it allowed us to recover from the wedding and everything. The only major thing that I can think of that happened in June is that I started babysitting for a family with four kids. I found out about the job through a mutual friend. The kids were great, and sooo adorable!!! The oldest, Clarissa, or Claire, as everyone called her, was 8, Peyton was 4, and Titus and Timothy were 1. Yes, it was quite a handful!!! Thankfully the kids were pretty well behaved, so it wasn't as hard as it could have been.

July started out rather boring as well, but got very busy as it went on!! The first week in July was my last week babysitting due to various circumstances, which turned out to be a blessing because it allowed me to participate in things that I otherwise would not have been able to do.

The second full week in July we had Bible School at our church. That was a crazy busy week!!! I was in charge of registration, and I also helped Mom, who was in charge of refreshments. Thursday night was definitely my busiest night, as I went from helping with registration to setting up for refreshments, to teaching the missionary story to the kids, then back to setting up for refreshments, then upstairs to teach the misssionary story to the teens, back downstairs just in time to do refreshments for the kids, then rushed to set up refreshments for the teens, then tearing down and setting back up for registration! I was so glad when that night was over! We had a very good turnout of kids each night, which was a huge answer to prayer, especially considering that it was the first time that the church had done VBS. We were able to see four kids get saved as a result of it, which was amazing!

The week after VBS, I started my STNA class (State Tested Nursing Assistant). It went very well, and I learned a lot, but I was very worn out by the time it was over. The last two weeks of class were crazy. We had Monday and Tuesday off the second to last week, then started back on Wednesday and continued every day until the following Wednesday! On that Saturday and Sunday we did clinicals at a nursing home, which was definitely an interesting experience. I still have to take my state test, which is sceduled for the 25th of August, and after that I will be completely done!

That's it for June & July. Hopefully now that the class is done with I'll be able to be better about updating this blog. I'm going to try to see if I can't come up with some sort of schedule for posting so that I don't go so long without updating!! I'm off to take some medicine and a nap now to see if I can't get over this bug that I have.

Stephanie

For some reason I have been really missing Stephanie a lot today. I don't know why, it's not like today is really any date that has any significance or anything. It's two months until her birthday, but I didn't realize that till I looked at Facebook, so I don't know what's causing me to miss her so much today.

It is so hard to believe that the end of this month, she'll have been gone for three months.It still doesn't seem possible that she is gone, even though it has been nearly three months. It still seems unfair, but I am accepting that God knows best, and that He has a reason for taking her home to be with Him.

I was trying to think of some of my favorite memories of Steph, and here are a few that I thought of:

 -Her love of pigs-She raised pigs every year for the fair since I could remember. She loved her pigs, and even won first place in Nationals at Bob Jones University for a sculpture that she did of a pig.

-Her love for her family-She loved her family very much, especially her niece, Megan. Her family ended up adopting Megan for various reasons, and she and Megan were so very close. Steph was also close to both of her parents and her brother Westley. One of the last things she said to me was that when Westley got married, she'd probably be crying like i was at Holly's wedding. Westley is now engaged, and Stephanie won't be there to see her brother get married.

-My very first memory of her is from fourth grade, when she started attending the same Christian school that I did. We nicknamed her the "hairbrush girl" because she always carried a hairbrush in her back pack and was constantly brushing her hair.

-She loved her friends so much. If any of her friends ever had a problem, she was always there for them with a hug. Her hugs always made anyone feel better, no matter what the problem was.

Those are just a few memories that I have of her. You may not care to read this, but writing about stuff seems to help me feel better. Anyways, it is off to bed I go...in a little while, at least. I'm waiting for a reply to a txt to I sent to a friend first, and hoping that the reply is what I'd like it to be, but trying not to get my hopes up too much...Goodnight, blogging world