Disapointment and Shattered Ideals

In my teenage years, I have to admit, I wasn't exactly the "perfect" Christian. I was rebellious, not outwardly, but inwardly, had really no desire to serve God, and idealized the wrong people. However, that all changed when a certain couple joined the church that I was attending at the time. Their names were J. and H. Higgins, and they soon became the youth leaders at my church. They became close friends of mine, and had so much influence in my life, more than they'll ever know. I spent numerous Sunday afternoons with them, as well as time before, during, and after youth activities.

J and H encouraged me to live for God, to get rid of the rebellion and bitterness in my heart, and to become a leader, rather than a follower. They were also a huge part of my surrendering to go into the ministry. They were the ones who put a burden in my heart to work with you. They planted those seeds of the love for youth into my life when I was still a youth myself.

H was the ideal wife. She was someone that I looked to for a model of how I wanted to be when I get married. She was submissive, loving, nuturing, and so much more. I looked up to her so much, and she was someone that I strived to model my own life after.

J was the ideal youth leader. He had so much energy and excitement about working with youth. You could see the burden that he had for youth. He was young, had a beautiful wife who loved youth just as much as he did, and seemed to have it all together.

I found out just this past week that this "ideal" couple is no longer together. J left his wife, and his young daughter, for another woman. When I heard the news, I was devestated and in shock. I couldn't believe that it had happened, not to them. They had seemed like the perfect couple, and I never, ever would have imagined that J would leave his wife for another woman. This was something that you heard about that happened to other people; people who aren't saved; people who didn't have the "ideal" life like J and H had.

I can only imagine what H is going through, suddenly finding herself as a single mom, having pretty much everything she'd known for more than five years destroyed. When I think about it, I am still shocked at what J did, and still can't believe that it happened.

This has made me realize even more how very important it is to really pray hard about who God would have you to marry, and to not rush into anything, and also, how important it is to make sure that you really know someone before you marry them

Sorrow

I find myself sleepless tonight. One of my close friends passed away late last night or early this morning, and I am unable to sleep. It was totally unexpected and I am in shock. I just saw this friend a little over a week ago at Holly's weddings,and we were making plans to get together sometime. Now she is gone. It seems so unbelievable, like it should be part of a dream or a movie or something.

As shocked and sad and hurting as I am right now, I take comfort in knowing that i will one day see Stephanie again. She knew the Lord as her personal Savior, and today she is in heaven with Him. Isn't that a wonderful thought? I am looking forward to the day when I will see her once again.

I would greatly appreciate your prayers for her family, as I can't even imagine what they're going through right now. To lose their daughter must be such a horrible thing for her parents to have to go through. A parent should never have to bury their child.

The verse that I've been dwelling on throughout this is "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;" (2 Cor. 1:3) . I know that however great my sorrow and pain, God will be there with me to comfort me and to help sustain my throughout this.

Please be in prayer for the funeral. I don't know yet when it will be, I'm still waiting to hear, but I do know that there will quite likely be several unsaved people there, as well as her older brother, who has strayed away from the Lord. Please pray that God will work mightily through Stephanie's death, and that He will receive all the glory.

Curious :)

Okay, I'm kind of curious. Does anyone actually read my blog? I will continue to whether anyone reads it or not, but I'm curious. This blog has kind of become a venting place for me; I write about things that are on my mind but I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about. I guess, in a way, you could almost call it a journal.

The main reason that I started this blog was to stay in touch with my older sister, Holly, after she went to college. However, I was down there with her this past year, so that reason really no longer exists. Also, she informed me a while ago that she really doesn't read my blog anymore. :P

Enough rambling for now. I will probably write more soon.

Prayer Requests

Oh my! I have so many prayer requests to share. Several of them are prayer requests the friends have shared with me, and a couple of them are my own.

A friend from elementary school's dad had brain surgery yesterday. He had a brain tumor, and, although it was benign, it had to be removed immediately. He made it through the surgery fine, but please be in prayer for him as he recovers. His name is Mr. Loy (I don't know his first name).

A friend from college contacted me today. His mom, Margorie Engelheart, had a gallbladder attack yesterday and had to have her gallbladder removed in emergency surgery. His parents are missionaries in Africa, so please pray for her recovery.

My best friend from college, Laura, and I were talking yesterday, and she said that a man from her church is in need of a heart transplant. He's second on the list in the country, but the doctors aren't even sure he could make it through the surgery. I do not know his name, but please pray for him. He is saved, but Laura is very close to him, so it would be hard on her if he died.

Also, my great-grandma, Helen Jackson, is suffering from congestive heart failure. She has only been given a few months to live, and she is not saved. As I said in my blog post about her, I would desperately love to see her get saved before she dies. It would be so much easier on me if she died before I go back to college in the fall so I don't have to fly hoem for a funeral.

If you could pray for all of these things, I would greatly appreciate it!

Spring Break!!

Well, Spring Break is finally here!! Actually, it's almost gone. It is Friday night and we leave on Sunday morning. This whole break has flown by!!

Spring Break started on Friday after chapel. I went over to my best friend, Laura Dillon's house for the beginning of break. On Friday night, after getting to her house, we went hiking on a nearby mountain. It had snowed the day before, so there was snow on the mountains. Unfortunately, we never got high enough on the mountain to see the ground totally covered in snow. WE did however, se patches of snow on the ground.

Saturday, Laura and I slept in until around 11:30am. After we got up, we worked on schoolwork some and started watching The Sound of Music.

On Sunday, we went to Immanuel Baptist Church, the church that Laura's dad pastors. After the evening service, the Dillons took me out to eat at Dairy Queen.

On Monday morning, Laura and I left her house around 11am and began the six hour drive to my house. We arrived at my house just in time for a delicious supper which Holly had made. I took her down to meet Chase and Cole after supper, then I took her to the library, which turned out to be a very profitable trip. She found several books for her research paper, which she's doing on Parkinson's Disease, and I found a few on the Columbine High School Massacre, which is the topic that I chose for my research paper.

On Tuesday, I took Laura over over to The Dawes Arboretum, an arboretum about ten minutes away from my house. I showed her around the arboretum for a few hours.

The next day, Wednesday, Mom, Holly, Laura, and I went to Dawes. While Mom and Holly walked, Laura and I went around Dawes, taking pictures. That evening, Laura got to visit my church, New Lexington Bible Church.

Thursday morning, Laura woke up with the stomach flu and spent most of the day in bed. As much as I regret that she was sick, it gave me some time to spend with my parents, which was something that i hadn't had a chance to do before that.

Today (Friday), we went in to Columbus and did some thrift store shopping. We found tons of good deals and I came back with plenty of new clothes for college.

Tomorrow Holly and I will be going into town to get our taxes done by Nicole, Chase & Cole's aunt (Maranda's sister). After that, she, Laura, and I will be going to Walmart to do some last minute shopping before we go back to school.

On Sunday morning, we will be leaving here around 8am, and, Lord willing, arrive in Lattimore around 4pm or so. We will get unpacked and settled in, then leave around 5:20 or so to go to church at Emmanuel. Andrew (Holly's boyfriend) will be coming with us.

As much as I love college, I am not ready to go back yet. This semester has been very busy and stressful for me as I am taking 21 credit hours, working 17 1/2 hours a week, and trying to fit in four hours of piano a week. I know, I'm crazy!! I regret taking so many credit hours, but there's no way I'd drop a class now, not so close to the end of the semester.

Well, I guess that's about it for this post. I will hopefully be posting more again soon.