Grandma Jackson

Last night I found out from my dad that my great-grandmother, his grandma, has congestive heart failure. In other words, her heart is not circulating the blood through her body properly because there's fluid building up around. The doctors have only given her a few months to live.
This news saddened me. I am pretty close to her, and I have never lost someone close to me before. She's been in poor health for awhile, and I knew it was only a matter of time before the knew came that she had either died or was dying, but that doesn't make it any easier. She's not saved, so that makes it even harder.
Although I am not looking forward to attending her funeral, I am hoping that she passes away before I go back to college this fall. I would rather not have to fly home from college to attend a funeral, especially not at the beginning of the semester.
Please pray that she will get saved. She is in the beginning stages of dementia, so I'm not sure she is able to understand the concept of salvation, but I know that God can work miracles. There would be nothing that i would like more than to see her accept Christ as her Savior before she dies.

Summer Update

Well, summer is now in full swing. I am enjoying being home, but I miss college!! More specifically, I miss all of my friends at college. I'm already counting down the days till I go back...only 73!!

I have not been able to find a second job this summer like I was hoping to. :( I had a couple of interviews, but no one wanted to hire someone who would only be home for the summer. I am so very thankful that I am babysitting Chase and Cole this summer, because this way I at least have one job. I am planning on making up some fliers to offer babysitting services for the evenings and weekend. Hopefully this will give me a little extra income this summer.

The Lord has really blessed. Between savings bonds, what I already have in my savings account, and babysitting the boys this summer, I will have enough money for almost all of next year. This is a huge relief to me because I do not have a job down at school for when I go back. :( I won't have a car, either, so I'm going to have to find a job on campus. Housekeeping usually needs people, and from what I've heard, you get plenty of hours, so I'm hoping to get on there. Mom and Dad have told me that if, when it comes time for finals, I don't have enough money to pay off my school bill, they will pay it off for me. I would really rather not have to ask them for money, but I'm thankful to know that the money is there if I need it.

It's hard to believe that I'll be graduating this next year. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was arriving on campus as a freshman, scared to death and not knowing what to expect. It doesn't seem real that I'll be a sophmore this year. Time sure has flown!

I am praying very hard that the Lord will supply enough money for all of next year and most of the next. I would really like to go back to Ambassador for a year after I graduate to take miscellanious classes that would help me in the ministry, or even as a wife and mother, if the Lord blesses me with a husband and children. At this time, it doesn't look like it will be possible for me to go back for a third year, but I know that I have a God that will supply all of my needs. I am trying very hard to trust in him for everything.

Other than babysiting, I really haven't been doing much this summer. I am teaching Mom's Sunday school class during summer break, so a lot of my spare time goes into preparing stuff for that. For the next four weeks I will be teaching on Esther, who is my favorite Bible character. I'm hoping to be able to convey how exciting the story is to my class. I started the series yesterday, and to my regret, only one out of the three students I had was excited about the story. The other two, who are both boys, said that they've heard the story before and that they don't want to hear it again. Please pray that I'll be able to get them excited about it. If you have any ideas, please, fel free to share them with me.

I'm hoping to start a memory program with them called Victory for Verses. It's a program where kids earn "dollars" for memorizing verses. There is also a list called the Memory Master list that has itmes such as the ten commandments, the days of creation, the plagues of Egypt, and other Biblical facts. These are worth more "dollars." At the end of the summer, the kids will be able ot redeem these "dollars" for prizes. I'm just waiting on my Pastor's approal before I start the program.

Well, that's pretty much everything that's going on in my life right now. Pretty boring, I know. lol :) I'll try to update again soon, but I['m not making any promises! :D

PawPaw

Today I will be going fishing with my Dad and PawPaw. However, Dad will be in a different boat. This will give me an oppurtunity that I've never had before: to be alone with PawPaw. I'm hoping to use this time alone with him to witness to him.

For as long as I can remember my family and I have been praying for Granny and PawPaw's salvation. Dad has witnessed to both of them several times, but until recently, their hearts were hardened towards the Gospel and they didn't want anything to do with it. However, a few months ago Dad had an opportunity to witness to them again, and they listened and actually seemed intersted.

It has long been a desire of my heart to see Granny and PawPaw accept Christ as their personal Saviour, however, I must admit I have been lax in witnessing to them. Although I've had opportunities to share the Gospel with Granny, I let those slip by. I regret that so much now. Being at Ambassador has really given me a burden for souls, especially for Granny and PawPaw. I would hate for them to die without getting saved. They mean so much to me taht I cannot just sit by and do nothing.

I know that there's no guarantee that I'll get an opportunity to witness to PawPaw today, and even if I do get an opportunity there's no guarantee that he will get saved, but I still have to try. I have been in in constanst, fervent prayer about this and the Lord ahs given me a peace about it that I cannot explain. I just somehow have a feeling that I will indeed be given a chance to witness to PawPaw.

Please pray with me that, first of all, I will get an opportunity to witness to him, and that he will listen when I do. Also pray for his salvation, as well as Granny's. Nothing would make me happier than to see them accept Christ as their personal Savior this summer. Please, please, please pray that the Lord will give me boldness as well as the right words to say so that I can clearly present the plan of salvation to PawPaw, and that he will listen to it and get saved.

“There is no other activity in life so important as that of prayer. Every other activity depends upon prayer for its best efficiency.” M.E. Andross

"Our only true power is the power of prayer. When we pray, God moves from heaven. When we pray, things happen that would not otherwise happen. By prayer all things are possible." Dr. Ray Pritchard

The Lord's Will

If it's the Lord's will, then how can it be so hard to accept? Why does it hurt so much? I've been asked that question by a couple of friends, and each time I didn't know how to respond, mainly because I had never had those feelings before. But now, I know exactly how they were feeling and how hard it was for them because I'm going through the exact same thing. It's not an easy thing to go through, by any means.

It's been almost two weeks now since I first asked those questions, and it hasn't gotten any easier. I still don't know the answer to those questions. I was so happy with the way things were going, so sure that it was the right thing, then, suddenly, I was confronted with the fact that it wasn't God's will. I couldn't believe it. Not God's will? I had been so sure it had to be God's will; after all, I was happy and content with the way things were going. I didn't understand how it could possibly be any thing other than God's will.

I was devastated. I cried. I cried a lot. However, that didn't help. The only thing crying did was remind me even more of the pain I was going through and of what I had lost. I couldn't figure it out. If it was God's will, then why did it hurt so bad? Why was my heart so heavy? Why did my heart heart feel like it had shattered into a thousand pieces?

The one thing that did help was turning to God for answers. I sought comfort from the one place i knew I could find it, God's Word. I opened my Bible first of all to my life verse, Isaiah 40:31. "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint." That verse brought me so much comfort, because i realized that if I looked to the Lord and trusted Him, then in due time, He would give me the strength to go on.

The next verse that I saw was right across the page. I had read it before, but never had it spoken to me like it did when my heart was so troubled. "Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

And so it continues, with the Lord leading me to verse after verse after verse. Every verse that I read was exactly what I needed at that time. Even verses that I had read before and had memorized as a little girl held new meaning for me.

Although that period of time was, and still is hard, it helps to know that I have a wonderful God right there with me. He will always be by my side. It reminds me of a well-known poem, Footprints in the Sand, by Mary Stevenson. The last few stanzas of the poem are: "'Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me.' He whispered, 'My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you.'"

That poem has never meant more to me than it has in these past couple of weeks, because I know that the Lord is carrying me through this trial. Even though I still don't understand why, or how it can hurt so much even thought it's His will, He knows. Although I still cry, and although it still hurts and it will hurt for awhile, I know that God is right beside me, ready to help me whenever I ask.

Poem

I found this poem today on http://www.ylcf.org when I really needed something to comfort me. I won't go into details, but I was recently hurt very deeply by someone who was a very dear friend of mine. When I read this poem, it seemed like the author knew exactly what I was going through, and God used this poem to comfort me.

Why This Road?
By Jaclynn Robinson

I lay it all down on the altar, Lord,
Every piece of this broken dream.
I can not understand Your plan for me.
I stumble to ask You, why this road?

When so much just seemed to fit perfectly,
My heart it dared to hope and to dream.
Now only to be filled with an aching
In the confusion of why this road.

Though I may fight and struggle through all this,
The answers to the questions do not come.
I know I must be content without them,
Enough to know You know why this road.

To accept Your will, to keep on trusting--
I must, but hard is the task at hand.
When tears blur my vision to what You’ve planned,
I choose to follow You down this road.

The strength for the season comes only from You.
From the same well, joy for the journey.
As You lead, I’m slowly but surely learning
To rejoice in spite of why this road.

The End is In Sight!!

Well, the semester's almost over. I have six finals left, and then I will be done with my freshman year at Ambassador Baptist College. It's kind of bittersweet. I'm excited to be going back home for the summer, but I am definitely going to miss all of my friends. Thank goodness for cell phones, email, facebook, and skype. All of my friends have at least one of those, so I will be able to keep in touch with them during the summer.

The school year has absolutely flown by! It's hard to believe that it was almost nine months ago when I first arrived. It seems like only yesterday. Out of the two semesters, I would definitely say that this semester has been the most difficult. I've been through a lot this semester, especially wiht my asthma. It has gotten way out of control, and no one can seem to figure out why. I have had so many doctor appointments in the past month that I've lost count. Thankfully, my last one is this Thursday, and my Mom and Dad will be here for it!! A week ago Monday, I went to the hospital to get some tests run and the doctor is going to let me know the results at my appointment on Thursday. The test results will hopefully tell the doctor why I'm having so many problems with my asthma. I'm hoping that it's something simple and easy to fix, because I'm tired of having all these asthma attacks.

Holly will be graduating this Friday! It's so hard for me to believe! I'm really going to miss her next year. She has been such a great help and encouragement to me this semester with everything that's gone on. I wish she sould come back, but she odesn't have the finances, and she wants to plan her wedding, which will hopefully be taking place next spring. NO, there's no ring on her finger yet, but hopefully she'll have one on there before the end of the year. The parents' permission has already been given, so now it's just a matter of time until Andrew asks her.

I don't really have any plans for the summer other than working. I'm going to be babysitting Chase and Cole four days a week to start, then hopefully five days a week. RIght now, Cahd, their dad, is only working four days a week. One nice thing about that is that I'll have my birthday off. That means i won't have to get up at the crack of dawn!!! That was one thing I wasn't looking forward to. I've always taken my birthday off before, but I wouldn't be able to do that babysitting. The Lord worked it all out.

One thing that i really want to do while I'm home is become active in my church, New Lexington Bible Church. I'd really like to get involved with the children and teenagers. I'm going to be teaching my mom's Sunday school class, which is grades 2-6. I'm very excited about that. One of the things I'll be teaching on is the book of Esther. This is one of my favorite books of the BIble, so I'm really going to enjoy studying it out and teaching it to the kids.

Well, that's about all for now. I'll try to post as often as I can during the summer, but I'm not sure how frequently i'll be updating. I'm always horrible about that!

Spring Bible Conference

Well, Spring break is over and I'm now back into the swing of things at school. The week after we got back from Spring break, the school had their annual Spring Bible Conference. This is usually a pretty big event for the school, but this year it was even bigger because the school is celebrating it's 20th anniversary. There were 21 different speakers during the week, and I think that just about every message spoke to my heart and convicted me about something. Although it was a busy week, I don't think I'd trade it for anything.
One of the highlight's of the week for me was seeing my pastor. He came down on Friday to visit the college, and it was such an encouragement to see him. The day before had been kind of rough, so that made it even more special. He took Holly, Andrew, and I out to eat at Chick-fil-a. It was delicious!! He was only down here for about half a day, but just to see him was a huge encouragement to me.
The same night that my pastor was down here, Mr. Beal, the future president of Ambassador, preached a message on what Ambassador is about. He told us that Ambassador will not change its stance as long as he is president. He encouraged all of us to pray for Ambassador, that it will be able to keep the strong standards that it has.
There's not enough room here to go into all that I learned at Bible Conference, so I'll just share one thing. During Dorm Devos one night, the speaker (I can't remember his name right now) spoke on humility. He said some things that really made me think. It wasn't your usual message on humility, but I think that's why it spoke to my heart so much.
Well, church is about ready to start, so I need to get off here. Hopefully, I'll be able to post mroe next SUnday, depending on how much schoolwork i have to do.